Idea Insomnia!

I first heard this term from Carrie Wilkerson, during a telesummit earlier this month and it has stuck with me.  Probably because i have had “idea insomnia” since then! Each night as when i lay down to go to sleep, my mind goes into overdrive… i have great ideas!  tons of ideas!  too many to write down  fast enough, in the dark (not wanting to wake my hubbie).  So i grab the pad of paper i keep by my bed, for such moments, and the pen… and the book light, all the time trying to be quiet, and by the time i get ready to write, half of the ideas are fuzzy! of course there are 3 more tumbling out and crowding out the first ones!  Does that ever happen to you?  So many good thoughts, ideas, languaging that comes when you are Not at your computer.  (i have thought about taking my laptop to bed!- not too cozy;)  considered the voice recorder, but that would wake hubbie, as would getting out of bed to run to the closet each time an idea hit me!  so… i write down what i can, in barely legible chicken scratch, and hope that it all comes back to me in the morning.

Sometimes, it does… More often it loses its clarity and brilliance from the wee hours.  And at that point i have a choice.  Sitting at my laptop in the morning, coffee in hand, idea notes scribbles from the night before… i can either dive in or give up.  At times, it would be easier to give up, don’t you agree…

but only easier for the moment.  In the long term, the  pain and consequences of not having acted on my ideas, thoughts, brilliant blog posts and book chapter, is far worse than the pain of working in that moment to capture something of the flashes of brilliance from the night before.  Hoping that by taking action the “brilliance” will return 🙂

This is so true in every area of life.   We are always making choices.  Even the decision to not make one is a choice of No Action.  We are always either moving forward or backward toward our goals/dreams.  There is no standing still.  Momentum ceases in lack of activity and the backward slide begins taking longer to rebuild. Just  1 day of not writing, running, taking care of my health, implementing the next step in my business strategy, investing in the imporant things (rather than getting sidetracked by the seemingly urgent)  …just 1 day and the momentum is lost.

Zig Ziglar tells a great story about priming the pump and the effort that takes, and the he compares it with the effort it takes to maintain it.  hint: Alot less!  (I’ve been reading some ZZ recently). This is one of the most crucial keys to success.  Activity.  Intentional. Purposeful Action, regardless of how i may be feeling in moment, that moves me toward my ultimate goal.  So coffee in hand… I choose to decipher a few scribbles that say “idea insomnia” and begin to write…

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Growth… are you willing?

~and the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.    anais nin

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Twilight Saga -are you in or out?

This past week, while on our annual family beach vacation, I consumed the first 3 novels in the Twilight series.  “consumed”?  Yes… read non stop… on the beach, in the condo, before and after meals, and into the wee hours of the night!  After all this was Vacation!  I love to read!  Books are a place to escape, to live a different life, even for a while, a venue to learn about people, a way to visit places I dream of going! And once I am captured by the story line, I can’t put the book down! 

I love stories- they are the fabric of life, where relationships are lived out in real time!  My oldest daughter is a literary gal and her insight on books is usually “spot on.”  So when the Twilight craze began i knew that the best information would come from her.

Of course there was backlash and reaction to the “vampire craze” and so many people wrote off the books as “bad.”  (use your interpretation of this word, given the media storm and the reactions).  Just like the Harry Potter series, these were relegated to the banned book list by some conservative folks, while others looked beyond the context to the story line.  

My kids were tweens/teens when the 1st Harry Potter book came to the US! I have been involved in numerous discussions about whether or not it is “ok” to let my/your kids read Harry Potter and see the movies.  The Twilight saga has re-opened these discussions. My personal feeling is that fantasy books are just that… fantasy.  If the book has a good story line, good values, life lessons then the context is secondary.  Not unlike the Lord of the Rings, or Narnia series, Star Wars, X-men and others,  these newer mystical and magical world books are a place for kids/teens/adults to explore their thoughts, feelings, reactions and responses to fictional situations that have real life implications.  IMHO

So, that being said, my daughter commented that the Twilight series were really a love story, a story of friendship, coming of age, and that the vampire/werewolf setting was secondary.  Given her wisdom in this arena, I decided to read them.  She was right!  I found good stories and life lessons in the midst of the intrigue.  I am waiting to get book 4 from her.

I am a firm believer in being aware of and involved in what is culturally relevant as long as it is legal, ethical and moral :).  This is one way that I have stayed connected to my kids as they grew up through middle school and high school.  Knowing what they were being exposed to and grappling with enabled me to teach life lessons in the midst of their learning and exploring.  Some may disagree, and that is ok… i would love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

Staying involved and relevant is important in relating to our tween/teenagers.  Remember when our parents thought our music was loud and inappropriate and our movie/tv choices questionable?  and we knew they  just couldn’t relate? 

As a relationship coach/guru, I believe that knowing what is out there and yes even experiencing some of it will help keep communication open with our kids as they enter “the silent years.”  Being able to convers in their language & culture, the milieu of their lives, opens the door to teachable moments.  They are often more open to hearing when we “speak their language” and at least try to understand “their world.”

So, Twilight Saga… are you in or out?  How do you stay relevant and engaged with your growing children as they evolve and mature in a rapidly changing world that is often so foreign to us?

just some thoughts…

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Be Afraid & Do It Anyway!

Of course we are afraid!  It is often said that courage is not the absence of fear, but action in the midst of fear.  It takes courage to succeed in your personal and professional life.  It takes Action even more! 

How many times have you thought of an idea, a project, a way to improve the world, (even your corner of it), and let that thought/idea slip through your fingers and right out of your mind.  If you are anything like me… far to often. As an Idea Queen,  i am always thinking of new ways to do, be, create, etc… some of them should go as fast at they come…but others need to be nourished and acted upon.

I “know” this…at core.  Don’t we say that often, “I know… or I should”  and then we keep on doing the next thing and days, weeks, months slip by and we have not taken action.  I suggest that we are often paralyzed by fear.

Fear: what if i fail, what will people think/say, how will i fit this into my already overloaded plate, and so the taunts go.  Just loud enough to shut us down.  I was told that FEAR is simply Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real.  And that is sooo true.

We imagine the remarks that we are “sure to hear”, the laughter and scoffing, that often never materialize.  Before we take action, we have already “fantasized & freaked” ourselves out of doing it! 

What if… you succeeded in your new venture?  What if the world became a better place because you took action in the face of fear… What if your family, friends and colleagues were supportive?  And then again… what if they are not?

They are not living your life, dreaming your dreams and wanting the more that tickles your thoughts and disrupts the daily routing.  YOU ARE!  It is about what You think and feel about you, your ideas, your life & your choices!  If God has planted an idea in our head/heart, who are we not to act on it? You are a child of God and thus uniquely equipped to carry out your ideas, dreams and plans.  Fear is a dangerous tool that keeps us from shining and being our best self!

In the end, there is much more to risk in “staying afraid and inactive.”  Being Afraid is Normal, so be normal, and then Take 1 step toward implementing your idea, do the next thing that will get you closer to your idea/project/brainstorm becoming a reality.  One step will ripple out and create more, build momentum and will make the difference you have been dreaming about.   And in doing so… you will may one more person the courage, inspiration and faith to take action as well.

i dare you…

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5 Areas of Wellness

Choose to Be Well.  Is it that simple?  At one level, yes.  Wellness is a choice, a mindset, a way of life at its core.  At another level, no.  Wellness requires work, commitment, discipline… all words we often crinkle our noses at, “smelly, like day old fish”.  However, Choosing to Be Well is Worth It!

Wellness dictates our lifestyle.  I have dealt with a debilitating illness for the last 5 years, and it affected every area of my life, Physical Wellness, Emotional Wellness, Mental Wellness, Financial Wellness & Spiritual Wellness.

Physically, I went from a runner and active wife/mom/entreprenuer/therapist to a couch potato, needing a nap each day and unable to do what I had once taken for granted.  I battled chronically illness and my life changed dramatically.  I am beyond thrilled for the restored health that I now enjoy (a miracle of sorts and another story for later).

Emotionally, my relationships suffered, because i didn’t have the energy to invest in them… my kids struggled to understand and accept my limitations. (and i Really struggled with this as well). I struggled with feeling discouraged, battled to stay hopeful, and at times I was a difficult woman to live with, thanks to countless courses of steriods & antibiotics.  Try explaining your latest irrational outburst, tears or impatience to your hormonal teen or harried husband, who had picked up the slack.  Lack of Emotional Wellness wreaks havoc on your life and relationships.

Mental wellness goes fast when you wake up wondering every day why you are unable to physically do what your mind says it wants to do.  Dreams, ideas, creativity suddenly become hostiles, as they taunted me with possibilities that died before they ever even reached the sunlight.  After having attempted them one time too many, i learned to quickly shut the newest brainstorm down, so as to avoid more disapointment.  Mental wellness includes a sharp and active mind, and is often a safe place to hibernate when physical and emotional wellness are fleeting.  This helped… but only so much.

Financially,  my businesses not only changed, but could be measured by the ups and downs of how i was feeling, and thus how much energy and time i could devote to them… which of course affected my financial wellness.  On a positive note, it did require me to learn to delegate!  As struggle often leads to growth in unseen areas.  We rarely welcome the struggle, but are often grateful for the learning & growth that comes from the shadow times.

Wellness at our core is Spiritual Wellness.  A relationship with the Creator, an awareness that the soul is the most precious thing, only housed in the body for a season.  I asked God alot of questions, we had some head butting sessions on the “why and how” of these difficult years (it was not the first time, either).  My faith was challenged, my time worn beliefs – re-evaluated.  New questions and a deeper understanding beckoned.  At times I embraced them, at others I took a nap to avoid it all!

Why tell you this?  Transparency is a gift I offer. The ability to relate to others, to understand through sympathy or empathy are the basis of my work with others.  It is also the cornerstone of why I am passionately invested in helping others achieve Wellness.  These 5 Areas of Wellness are what make life rich and meaningful.  Balanced and Well in all areas is the Good life, and I am eagar to walk with others on this quest for wholeness.

I invite you to think about these 5 Areas of wellness and to evaluate which areas need growth or deliberate attention.  That is the only way things change:  deliberate action, choice, and effort. 

Choose to BE Well.  Easy or not, it is an Essential Choice.

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what is your superpower?

I think that women have a secret super power or two!  we are born with the multi-taking gene, the relational radar and sacrificial stance… picture this:  doing the dishes, talking on the phone and being profoundly aware that your teen is not happy about “something” (just the vibes you read) and then of course as moms so often do…changing your agenda for the evening to “be there” for said teen.  A normal day in the life of a mom.

no wonder we are so often tired.  Just the ongoing list in our heads would be enough, but coupled with the “sixth sense” that enables us to read a room without anyone saying a word, or “pick up on the vibes” that men so often miss, our plates are always full!  i wonder if there is a “balancing” super power or if it is a learned skill and intentional choice in the “leaps tall buildings in a single bound” life of women/moms.

i would love to hear your thoughts.  what is your superpower? do you have any balancing tips/techniques.  and most importantly what do you do to refuel?  Even superheros need some R & R… right 🙂

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Tiara Tips: AWHW

Ladies… grab your tiaras and head over to for an incredible community of business women who want to connect, support and incredible training offers!

This is the group who put on the Super Business Models telesummit – it was FREE and it was FABULOUS!

Expert Entreprenuerial Women sharing insider tips and secrets freely with transparency and with incredible take aways for anyone who wanted to call in!

it was like drinking from a fire hydrant, it was so rich in content, motivation and inspiration! i am so grateful i chose to be a “Paris”model (access to transcripts, downloads etc)so that i can revisit this wealth of information again and again.

If you missed the summit, check out these superbizmodels sites: Carrie Wilkerson, Holly Rigsby, Jane Button, Nicole Dean, Lethia Owens, Pam Brossman, Amy PalmerMarta Costca, Kim DeYoung, Jenny Flintoft, Leanne Ely,and Kerry Beck

They are full of free reports, email subscribe to their weekly wisdom… and more

Get your tiaras on Girls… and learn from these other generous tiara girls! Join AWHW and don’t miss their incredible offerings.

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